The New York Mets currently sit 17.5 games behind the Phillies in the National League East and are at .500, which is atrocious considering the team has a payroll of 120 million (7th in the majors). A feat of such incompetence can not go unnoticed, and that same feat brought me to write this. My task? Explain to people through every vivid, painful detail just how annoying it is to root for this underperforming yet overpaid team.
Catchers- Surprisingly, this happens to be the only part of the team that one can be happy with. Both Ronny Paulino and Josh Thole are performing on par with the average starting catcher in the majors (which isn’t good because, you know, catchers suck at hitting), while being fairly paid.(Editors Note: When we say “fairly paid” we mean “extremely overpaid considering they don’t contribute to society, but given the market of baseball players, fairly paid. Carry on.) This is one of the only advantages that the Mets have on their Bronx counterparts: The Yankees have Russell Martin who can only provide power, (Yankee Fan Editors Note: But he calls a great game, and looks like a biker/male adult performer)Francisco Cervelli who can’t really hit and for some reason occasionally plays the infield, and the worst (ironically, also highest paid of the 3) is Jorge Posada, who can’t field, hit, or run anymore. The only reason to keep him around could be the positive influence on the youngsters. However, do you really want them to learn from someone who bitches to his manager about batting in his deserving place in the lineup. (If the imminent promotion of Jesus Montero happens before this article is posted, Yankee catchers become better than Met catchers.)
1st Base- The Mets started off the year with a great 1st baseman in Ike Davis. (Ok, maybe “great” is an overreach, but that’s in comparison to other starting 1st baseman like say Daric Barton) He then proceeded to go down with an ankle injury early in the year, causing the crack staff of not licensed Met doctors to conclude that they have to amputate(kidding). His replacement is Daniel Murphy. Murphy is a solid hitter but he lacks power. He also happens to be a jack of all trades in the field, as he can play 1st, 2nd , or 3rd. Granted he plays none of them well, and his a unique talent of being able to commit an error anywhere on the diamond. Murphy is more suited for a DH role, as he is Billy Butler-esque. A designated hitter happens to be helpful in National League.
2nd Base- This has been the Mets revolving door of awfulness this year. Just as we Mets fans get excited as one awful 2nd baseman loses his job, the management brings in another one to kill our spirits. Coming into spring training, the 2nd baseman job belonged to Luis Castillo (if you click the link, the Castillo play is #1, but watch the entire thing to get a good laugh). Castillo was a very good player back in the day, having tremendous speed and great fielding ability which made up for the complete lack of power. Unfortunately by the time he came to the Mets, he had two bad knees, had lost all his speed, and no longer had range or fielding ability. Couple that with the complete lack of power and a high paying contract and you have yourself an older version of Yunieski Betancourt (this is the worst insult one player can be given as you will learn in one of my later columns). Thankfully the management realized this and released him; unfortunately his replacement was Brad Emaus. There is not much to be said about him, mostly because I had never heard of him before he was the Mets opening day starter and haven’t heard of him since he was designated for assignment. All that’s needed to be said is that in his 14 games with the Mets (yes the Mets let go of their opening day starter after 14 games) he batted a staggering .162 with 6 singles coming as his only hits. The current Mets starter at this position is Justin Turner. He is decent and all, but one thing about him pisses me off (aside from him being a ginger): He was claimed off of waivers from the Orioles. That’s right: the Mets starting 2nd baseman wasn’t good enough to be a Major Leaguer on a team like the Orioles. That’s just sad!
3rd Base and Shortstop- There are no complains here. These are the Mets only elite players and are performing as such.
Outfield and Pitching staff to come later. (Suspense!)
Vlad is the expert for The Daily Danstein in all things angry, Mets, Patriots and Russian. (Not necessarily in that order) Email him at lev42795@gmail.com and follow him on the Twitter at http://twitter.com/#!/lev42795
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